Bedtime Routine for Neurodiverse Children: Finding Calm Amidst the Chaos

Bedtime Routine for Neurodiverse

Finding a bedtime routine for neurodiverse children isn't easy. As a neurodivergent mum with neurodivergent kids, I’ve learned a few strategies that work for us over the years. I’m not saying these tips will magically solve everything, but if you’re struggling, they might be worth a shot.

Feel free to drop me a message and let me know how it goes after a month or two of trying these suggestions. I also have a post that focuses more on the 4 B's: Bath, Bottle (or Bedtime Snack/Blankee), Book, Bed HERE.

Creating a Calming Environment

1. Start with a Predictable Countdown

Begin your bedtime routine 30 to 60 minutes before sleep. Use a visual timer or picture schedule so your child can see how much time is left. Give gentle verbal cues like, “In 30 minutes, it’s time for a bath.” Repeat this at 15 minutes, 5 minutes, and 1 minute. This helps set clear expectations.

2. Design a Calming Wind-Down Zone

Create a soothing space for winding down. Dim the lights, close the curtains, and lower background noise. Remove stimulating toys, screens, or loud sounds. Consider offering a weighted blanket or a soft toy for sensory comfort. Our Soft Huggable Cat Plush Pillow is the perfect comforting companion for neurodivergent children to snuggling down with and for those restless fingers with not try our 2025 Silicone Sensory Fidget Stones 6pk

Huggable cat plushies with sensory worry stones nestled on a moonlit background

3. Enjoy a Relaxing Bath

Bubbles in a nice warm bath can work wonders. You can add gentle scents to help with relaxation. Children’s nighttime bubble baths are often infused with safe, calming ingredients. My go-to is Baylis & Harding Goodness Kids Lavender & Chamomile Bubble Bath. It’s the perfect way to help them wind down before snuggling up for a bedtime story.

Important Note: Never use essential oils without a suitable carrier oil, especially on children’s sensitive skin. Always consult a health professional before using essential oils and ensure you use the correct ratio. The recommended dilution is about 0.25% (roughly 1 drop of essential oil per 4 teaspoons of carrier oil). Avoid strong oils like peppermint, eucalyptus, rosemary, and tea tree in young children’s baths. For babies under two, many aromatherapists recommend not using essential oils at all. Instead, consider just carrier oils or oat/milk baths.

4. Maintain a Consistent Sequence of Activities

Stick to the same order every night. For example:

• Brush teeth

• Use the toilet

• Engage in a quiet activity, such as:

- Colouring

- Listening to gentle music

- Simple puzzles

- Quietly reading a book

- Looking at picture books (if they’re too young to read)

5. Offer Sensory Regulation Before Bed

Consider incorporating a bedtime bottle or snack. Deep pressure hugs can be comforting if your child enjoys them. Gentle rocking in a chair or slow-paced stretching can also help. Don’t forget their favourite bedtime blankee! You might also try lavender or chamomile blended essential oil sprays for the room or pillow (only if designed for children and well tolerated).

6. Choose the Right Bedtime Story

Pick calm, predictable stories with soft imagery. Avoid fast-paced tales or any with scary content. Remember, what seems harmless to you might terrify your child and keep them up all night (you too!). Gentle poems or rhyming books work well - like Hoggy the Hedgehog's Moonlit Munch (when it’s published).

7. Use a Visual Bedtime Script

Pictures showing each bedtime step can help reduce anxiety and challenging behaviours by making expectations clear. You could make this a bit more fun by adding a small battery-operated touch light above each picture. When they complete a task, they turn on the corresponding light. When all the lights are off, it signals that it’s time for story time and bed.

8. End with a Reassuring Ritual

Finish the night with short, consistent phrases like, “I love you, see you in the morning.” In our family, we always say, “Night, night, God bless, sweet dreams, sleep tight, and I love you millions!” Offer a comfort item in bed, like a plush toy, blankee, or cuddle pillow. You might also try gentle background sounds, such as white noise or soft instrumental music, if it helps your child relax.

Final Thoughts

Navigating bedtime with neurodiverse children can be a challenge, but with a little patience and creativity, you can create a routine that works for your family. Remember, every child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. So, don’t hesitate to experiment and find what brings comfort and calm to your little ones.

sleeping hedgehog